Voices

10/12/2016

Another day, another amazing and insightful post from your fave blogger.

OK, let's discuss for a moment the uncomfortable and awkward part of starting a blog (or starting anything really, where you put your actual self 'out there') because there is this voice, at least there is in my head, that is yelling 'NO ONE CARES!! YOU ARE NO GOOD!!! YOU EAT TOO MANY MACARONS!!!' Clearly this voice is delusional, there is never such thing as 'too many' macarons, but for some reason I often listen and obey this rude and demeaning voice (aside from the macarons part, obv). I battle this voice everyday, every time I try something new, every time I stare at a blank canvas, every damn time I do anything actually, creative or otherwise. It's exhausting. Fear, you are an effer.

Over time, I have learned that I am unable to quiet this voice permanently, or even slightly.
So I've tried to adopt an attitude of 'just do it anyway, who cares what anyone thinks!' Well, I do, but I don't, but I do. It really is a cycle of crazy. If there is any notion that I create and put it out there fearlessly, that is 100% not true. I am actually losing my mind the majority of the time. I know I am not alone, so although the 'ALL About MEEEEE!!!' factor of blogging makes me feel super odd, if sharing who I am elicits a 'me too' in your heart, then that's what matters. Not feeling alone feels good. True that.

And now, some fitting photos of towers of glory...macarons by Ollia! YUM!! www.byollia.com

4 Comments

Amy Byng

10/12/2016 04:33:34 pm

You are definitely not alone with these voices! Having artists in my family, I am always amazed by their courage and vulnerability- to put everything out there - the world can be kind, but it can also be very cruel and cynical and when artists create something it usually comes from an inner place that is deeper than just the surface. So it is terrifying - if someone doesn't 'approve' or 'like it' then it isn't just an attack on that object or sound, but on their being. Well at least this is how it feels, but if we step back to look at it from a different lens a neg comment may be meaningless or fleating. The intent is usually not to crush someones heart and soul. Haha. That is where the courage to be vulnerable comes in. The courage to be youself and say eff it to fear just like you are doing. And maybe those voices we battle aren't really about others at all, maybe they don't have to do with other voices of approval but have everything to do with our own approval.
Anyways, just a thought. I love Brene Brown- she is a master when it comes to vulnerability and why we need to be vulnerable. I would recommend her work to any person, but especially any artist.
Anyways, I am rambling now, and may not have made any sense in this rambling at all. Haha, But your blog got me thinking! So that's always good ;)
Here is a Brene Brown quote I will leave you with ( and not to say u have an issue with it haha- just think it applies to all of us!)
"Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen and taking flight."

So keep soaring! You are doing awesome my friend!

Jill Paddock link

10/12/2016 05:58:48 pm

Thank you Amy!! I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment so thoughtfully! So true, the part about 'our own approval' & I love that quote & Brene Brown too, thank you! I am excited you are able to come to the show at my parents! Fun!

10/12/2016 09:20:02 pm

Looking forward to coming! Totally fun :)

Lindsay R link

10/12/2016 06:47:26 pm

Oh friend. I can't even tell you all the ways I love this.

JILL PADDOCK ART

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