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It's hard to create something on demand. Apparently I don't work well under 'scheduled' creativity. Sometimes I don't know what to say, what to make, what colours to use. Sometimes I don't feel motivated. Sometimes there's just no time. Sometimes I feel like what I have to say, whether through words or in the form of artwork, doesn't matter or its already been said before. The time is not right for me. I don't like feeling like I have to follow a set of rules for how to create content, when to post, etc... I don't like feeling like I have to paint a in a certain style or with certain colours in order to sell, sell, sell!!! I just want to make something real to me...something authentic, not forced. The 'rules', whatever I think they are, are not right for me. When I create with passion, freedom & intention, my best work follows. If I'm not feeling it, I recognize it and don't beat myself up over it. You can't force the genius, I always say (I don't really always say that but it's a true statement to me). So here I am...rule breaker, rebel blogger. Get ready for some sporadic posting, nonsense musings, possible DIY painting lessons (wouldn't that be fun!!??), & anything and everything I feel like putting out there on the Internets. 
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Another day, another amazing and insightful post from your fave blogger. OK, let's discuss for a moment the uncomfortable and awkward part of starting a blog (or starting anything really, where you put your actual self 'out there') because there is this voice, at least there is in my head, that is yelling 'NO ONE CARES!! YOU ARE NO GOOD!!! YOU EAT TOO MANY MACARONS!!!' Clearly this voice is delusional, there is never such thing as 'too many' macarons, but for some reason I often listen and obey this rude and demeaning voice (aside from the macarons part, obv). I battle this voice everyday, every time I try something new, every time I stare at a blank canvas, every damn time I do anything actually, creative or otherwise. It's exhausting. Fear, you are an effer. Over time, I have learned that I am unable to quiet this voice permanently, or even slightly. So I've tried to adopt an attitude of 'just do it anyway, who cares what anyone thinks!' Well, I do, but I don't, but I do. It really is a cycle of crazy. If there is any notion that I create and put it out there fearlessly, that is 100% not true. I am actually losing my mind the majority of the time. I know I am not alone, so although the 'ALL About MEEEEE!!!' factor of blogging makes me feel super odd, if sharing who I am elicits a 'me too' in your heart, then that's what matters. Not feeling alone feels good. True that. And now, some fitting photos of towers of glory...macarons by Ollia! YUM!! www.byollia.com Starting something new is awkward right? Well it is for me, as you shall see. Let's get that out of the way and just pretend I've been a 'blogger' for like, years & years. For those of you who are new to my very established and wildly popular blog, I'll introduce myself in another post soon...I mean, I've got to pace myself here. Also my kids require food and attention. We are totally binge-watching 'Loony Tunes' on Netflix and its aws, but its time to get going...they have school this afternoon so I am going to PAINT!!! |
Jill PaddockI make art. Archives
March 2021
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